If you’re reading this, send wine.

Potty training is hell. Potty training a tiny diva terrorist is it own special kind of evil.

About a month ago, I was boasting about my potty trained princess. Miss thing had fully moved to her big girl princess underwear (damn you Disney). She thought she was so cool to be wearing them. And, I mean, you can’t get princesses wet with pee so this meant numerous bathroom trips to keep those fabulous cartoons dry. 

The universe clearly thought that was too easy. Because no one’s got time for laundry (and my single lady days of sending it out are long gone) and littles don’t always wake up when it’s time to pee, we’ve been using pull ups at nap and bedtime. 

Yeah, you already see where this is going don’t you? 

Miss V has taken to holding her pee for an insanely long time. We can carry her kicking and screaming to the bathroom, strip her butt naked, and place her on the toilet. Behold, the bladder of steel. That thing still doesn’t get emptied. 

Our nanny needed a sick day on Tuesday, so I stayed home with the kids. After a full morning with a trip to the park and lunch, it was time for home and bed. 

I successfully tuck her into bed, and descend the stairs with my almost sleeping little man. Winning!

I haven’t hit the bottom step before I hear the cries.  

“Mommy, mommy!”

Panic sets in as I realize I forgot the pull up. Why is this a big deal, you say? Oh well, Miss V likes those princesses better, and holds her pee just to share it with them. Sofia can hold an impressive amount of pee.  She can be so full she might fall off on her own, but Miss V cannot let her princess go. 

Witness the Sofialess and now pee soaked toddler. She and her big girl princesses are wet. The world is ending. 

You can bet Mommy hasn’t forgotten the pull up the rest of this week. 

Hey Disney, if you’re reading this, your princesses need to pee, too. Plaster a big,old white throne on that screen where said princess can pop a squat. I’m thoroughly impressed with Sofia’s magical bladder, but can we lob a little parental potty training assist this way? I mean, if Sofia does it, it has to be cool, right?

Even better, package some wine with those pull ups. 

One thought on “If you’re reading this, send wine.

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