Musings from the bedroom floor…

When we first bought our townhouse, we only had one babe in tow. We had a budget and very specific neighborhoods in mind. This meant finding three bedrooms on the same floor probably wasn’t going to happen. I fell in love with our old townhouse when I walked in. I mean IN LOVE. It was an old meat packing plant turned townhouse with an insane courtyard, and walkable to everything. We told ourselves that if New Yorkers share smaller spaces and have multiple kids we could do it,too. I shared a room growing up, and so did Dan. We turned out semi-normal. So that’s what we would do, and I could have my meat packing plant fantasy townhouse.

When E came along, he first slept in a bassinet in our room just like big sis did (well if you call his comical twenty minute stretches of sleep actually sleeping). We had planned to move him into his crib into his shared room with big sis sometime around 6 months, which is around when we transitioned V. Big sis had other plans for us, though. Around this time V decided that her room needed to look like the Las Vegas strip for her to sleep. Every single light had to be on. Plus two night lights.

Sounds like the PERFECT spot for a baby to sleep, right?

At this same time, my gigantic babe outgrew the bassinet and refused to sleep in the pack n play. Out of desperation I let him sleep with me. He liked to eat every two hours, and this way I got to sleep and he got an all night long smorgasbord. It was a win-win all around.

Somewhere around this same time we decided to look at houses just to see if anything was out there. Well, it was. What can I say, I like any excuse to shop? So we said goodbye to our townhouse and hello to our forever home.

And hello to three bedrooms on the same floor. It’s like Christmas every day for mama.

Welllll….except E was still snacking at the smorgasbord all night long.

So what’s a good city girl to do? Call in a sleep consultant. That’s what.

So I did. I found the most amazing sleep consultant to talk me off my mama bear ledge. She came fully loaded with a British accent and a detailed plan. As a bonus, she was available via text or phone when the going got rough to get little man sleeping in his own room with the least amount of tears from mama…I mean E.

Because sleep training shouldn’t be too easy, E’s top four teeth all decided to take the same month to show up.

But, wait for it. All survived. E now has a schedule! Woohoo! Naps and bedtime are no longer spent on a person. I know, this is a radically freeing idea. Surprisingly, that crib works really well for, well,sleep. Who knew?

But also yeah, musings from the bedroom floor???

E’s in his crib. And damn, we worked hard for that. So he’s staying in his crib.

Turns out, if babies have a hard time sleeping through the first round of teeth, they will for subsequent teeth. Fun times.

Due to this new round of teeth I’ve been able to contemplate all kinds of things lately like:

Pottery Barn Kids rugs are actually quite comfortable to sleep on. Would that make a good customer review? There should be a real mom review section.

Our cleaning lady is worth every single penny we pay her, and then some. For real. How does she get my carpet to smell so good?

How many white noise machines are too many?

Do they make sleep sacks in adult size? Must search Amazon.

Why is the door soooo far away? Can I make it there, open it, and shut it without him noticing?

Why did I buy E a stuffed panda head? Is it staring at me?

It’s 4:13AM and I’m wide awake. This is totes what the sleep consultant meant by texting her if I need anything right?

Why do they make crib slats so small? Is my arm still alive? Oooh, there’s a tingle. Yep. Still alive.

How do I set the screen brightness to trapped in baby’s room, bored, but must not wake up baby?

Is this payback for kicking him out of my bed?

Maybe, just maybe, in the next house, I’ll get to sleep in my own bed again. A mom can dream, right?

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