I said “I do” to my other half almost five years ago. One of the perks to being married means I no longer have to swim in the dating pool. I was comically awful at it. I mean awful. Anyone play board games with their families? Mine does every Christmas. My dating life before Dan was so comical one year, I think, “Suzie’s Dating Life” was literally an answer every round we played during The Game of Things. Every Round. My family REALLY loves me.
Anyway, my epic failures in the dating pool taught me many lessons. Most of them being men claim to be much taller, and post old pictures of themselves online. Just kidding, well not about the pictures or the height, they totes all do that. Dating actually taught me some really great lessons about myself and what I want in a partner. You see, everyone is crazy. (Yes, you reading this. You’re crazy too.) Like legit got some level of crazy. To happily partner with another half you just have to find the right amount of crazy you can live with. You have to balance out the crazy in each other. In dating, I really just wanted an honest advertisement of who I was going to be meeting. If you can’t do that upfront, what does that say for the potential in a relationship down the road? When I found Dan, he just stuck out. He was different, and he actually looked like his (gasp!) recent picture. He was honest. Bonus, he was all 6 feet he said he was. Our first date was great, and by our fourth date I knew I wouldn’t be dating anyone else but him again. He was my forever weirdo. My lobster.
Dating 7 years ago with Dan was so easy. We could pick a place and go. We could pick that place weeks in advance or as little as five minutes before our walk out the door. To be young and free again.
To find quality time with your partner-in-crazy, is almost as comical as my online dating adventures. Well…almost. There are legit days I crawl into bed and look over at Dan to realize I kissed him good morning and am now kissing him good night, but for real have done nothing more than the kid and work song and dance since we got home. We sometimes squeeze in an oh-so romantic episode of “Insert Netflix Series here” before we stumble off to bed. It’s life yo. And dating time ain’t what it used to be.
We’re insanely lucky that our nanny and my mom can also help babysit for us. So every so often we take advantage of this.
The first year with both Viv and E, was the hardest for this. That first year of both babies lives, well at least the first 9 months, felt like a fog. We’re almost to E’s first birthday, and coming out of the trenches this second time around. Which means our social lives seem to be seeing the light, as well. The same happened around this milestone for Viv, too.
In April, if you look back at my social media it looked as if I almost went off the grid for a week mid-month. Well I kind of did, save for a few Insta Stories. Mostly, to date my husband. Mostly. That and because I wanted to sleep. A lot.
Lobster and I went to Charleston, where we spent the week. We slept in every single day, and took a nap for good measure. The restaurant scene there is ridiculous, and I may have forgotten to take pics and now only have a few alcohol inspired ones from Instagram to look back on. It’s not a bad thing, because honestly, I was actually busy dating my husband again. And it felt REALLY good. So good that I put my phone away and didn’t document most of the trip. Oops.
Flying to Charleston, SC just to have some quality time with my partner-in-crazy was crazy. But it’s what we needed. I missed my babies like crazy. To make it work, my mom stayed with the kids overnight, and our nanny extended her hours to help with dinner and bedtime. They were my extended mama squad. I loved them for it.
I was also nursing E still, but knew Dan and I desperately needed the break. So I pumped every day while I was there. Plus, I used Milk Stork. This mama founded company is genius. A week away from my baby was not going to be the deterrent in quality time with my lobster. I’ve travelled for work in the past, but never had to bring home this much milk. Plus, my freezer stash was good, but I was no Dairy Queen. So I enlisted their help, and used one to ship home and one to carry on my flight back.
Off grid dating for the win! We ate and drank our way through Charleston. It was the best week long date we’ve probably had since our honeymoon. Yes, we missed our kids, and I know they missed us, but we’re all better after the time away. The kids survived, my mom and nanny survived, my milk made it safely to Chicago, and Dan and I returned well-fed and rested.
You see, I like dating my husband. Scratch that. I love dating my husband. Life just makes it harder to do these days.
Sometimes, we’re really lucky and don’t need to fly to another state just to get time with each other. And sometimes I even remember to take photographic evidence.
Life is crazy. I just may be crazy, too. But I’m pretty thankful for the moments, even if they’re farther apart than they used to be, that I get to date this guy.
As to the how to part? Find time. Any time. Any way. Then do it.